Vogue is now over, and my life is starting to return to normal. I can actually do things that I've neglected now. Important things. Like, school. And summer plans. I can't believe that I still have another year here at Queen's. While most of my friends have jobs, or are graduating, and stepping out in to the real world, I'm still here. I feel like I'm one step behind. As much as it's "not a big deal," there's still part of me that wishes I can move on. I feel like my time here is done. But it's not, because obviously I have another year.
I had a lot of fun doing Vogue this year. I met a lot of people in a short amount of time and it was definitely an eye-opener. A lot of people have been asking me whether or not I am going to do Vogue next year, and how they want to work under me. I'm still trying to decide whether or not I should. I think the whole fiasco with GA really left a mark on me. The memory of having something tank like that because of me really makes you question your ability to hold the fort together. Although it wasn't entirely my fault (it was mostly because of the structure of the conference itself that made it hard to expand and to continue), one cannot help but feel responsible for making a year's worth of work go to waste. It's a scary thought. More than people realize. But I guess life is all about picking yourself up after you fail. We'll see.
On an unrelated note, people are petty and gossipy, and can be quite mean-spirited. People are self-centred, and no one ever thinks that he/she is wrong. People don't like trying to see things from others' points of view. People aren't compassionate and they don't try to understand where things are coming from. People judge other people, even though they're also full of mistakes themselves. People make assumptions and accusations. People aren't nice. The worst are the kind who think they are, but actions speak louder than words.
I'm definitely more lost in life than I care to admit.
I try to keep it together, but it's hard. When things go too well, I get bored. When life gets busy, I get bored. It's like there is no satisfying me.
As a result, I don't let anyone in. Because I can't figure myself out. I can't figure out what it is that makes me tick. Not just temporarily, but in the long run. If I can't figure myself out, how am I supposed to let someone in? I would give someone a pretty shitty tour. So I pretend that I can hold it all together. But I can't, really. I'm pretty much a huge mess.
I'm sorry if I tread on anyone's toes. I don't mean to.
Vogue starts tomorrow. How on earth did this thing creep up on us?
Five more days. Count them. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Five. It's going to be insanity. I'm so excited, and I'm dreading it at the same time. It's easy to explain the excitement, but I'm just getting so nervous about the flow of the whole show, and there is so much school work at the same time. It's near the end of the year, it's getting down to the wire. I'm really excited about my friends seeing the show. I just hope that it lives up to their expectations.
Full cast rehearsal #2 today. Before that, we did some pictures that are going to be for the slideshow during intermission. That's going to be fun. I can't wait to see the pictures. I got to be the director for the "shoot". hahaha... For an hour and a half, I was Mr. Jay. Wickedest job EVER! I loved it. It was so much fun. Everyone was so nervous being around the camera. It's fun just giving them ideas and direction. I wish I had one of those cool, REAL cameras with the zoom and the focus and the flash. I'm getting so hooked to it. I've love to buy a real camera, learn some techniques, and just take pictures of things. If only I had the resources to do it. And those cool umbrella things that reflect light. hahahaha... (Yea, I know. I'm getting so technical with the terms.) Stuff like that just makes me feel so alive. Everyone had so much fun. It made me so happy.
This year's show is going to be amazing. Everything is coming together. The only thing is, I still have to practice my choreography for the 10.8 seconds that I'm actually doing something on stage. The only part I can do well is the bowing at the end. lol. It's actually quite strange and makes me quite self conscious when I have to move in front of so many people. Everyone is going well. It's going to be good. No, it's going to be great.
What a great weekend! So exciting! It's been a whirlwind, so let me try to recap. It all started on Thursday, when I went and bought a new digital camera from Sony. It's the DSC T-10, and it's white, and it's gorgeous. It's my new baby, and I'm such a proud mama. lol... As if that wasn't exciting enough, I went for a haircut right after, and now, it's bobbed. Everything is chin length or shorter. It's wicked, and I love it. I can't tell which one I love more - my camera or my hair.
Friday was, of course, CAISA fashion show. The bus left at 11 am, and we got there around 4, got ready in a flash, along with some drinking, and the show started at 7:30. By 7, I've already split half a glass of champagne on an unsuspecting visitor on the bus on the way to ths show. I am ridiculous. The show itself was pretty good. The dancing was regs, as expected, but the models were pretty hot. They had ppl from Sutherland models come up to judge this modelling competition. There were a few "surprises" in the show... some bigger than others. Overall, it was enjoyable. And then afterparty at Phoenix. Got to hang out with Jen Lui a lot, which is always fun. And I saw a lot of ppl that I haven't seen in a while. The line for coatcheck while we were leaving was INSANE. And then... Sammi's. Finally, Stella and I got back to the sketchy Econologe at 4 am. I should mention that the Econolodge was situated in between a strip joint and a church. To the cab driver: "The Econolodge, please. It's at John and Adelaide and it's right in between a strip club and a church. Thanks!" - Stella. Oh, how I love my Stella!
Waking up on Saturday was absolutely brutal. Econolodge had the most ghetto breakfast thing. They didn't even have enough juice. And that's all I wanted - water and juice. We got back to Kingston around 4:15, and I quickly went home and showered and bought BK for Alex. Alex was up playing in the AF bball tourney. So last night, we went to Elixir for St. Patty's. That was a lot of fun, since a bunch of ppl were there, too. And I had my first green beer! Excellence!
'Twas an interesting wknd. A little bit of scandal, and lots and lots of fun and friends!! Now it's time to crack down on the mountain of work I have.
Holy moley, ABS!!! Friday afternoon was spent watching 300 in theatres. And wow, it was sooooo awesome! It was like... eye candy x 300. Abdominals galore. The fight scenes were captivating. And the mood was set really well. The question I have is - why wear only capes and underwear? Shouldn't there be some sort of... protection? Like, armour? Ah, well. That meant that I saw more abs. So I'm not complaining. They're all sooooooooo ripped. ahahahahaha... It was my dream movie. I love action films, and this one had a lot of action. And wow, those abs. I can't get over it.
This was followed by some much-needed shopping. Weeeeeeeeee! What a great day!!
